The best gift idea for Father's Day you wouldn’t wanna miss

Father's Day is an opportunity to show appreciation and love for the fathers and father figures in our lives. While traditional gifts like ties, grooming kits, or tools are always appreciated, this year consider giving a gift that could have a lasting impact: the gift of health and mental well-being.

Mental health challenges are more common than many realise. As per Statista, as of October 2021, 33 percent of men had depression as compared to women with 31 percent during the same time period.

Initiating a conversation about mental health with your dad can be one of the most significant gifts you give. Consider starting a dialogue that addresses the stigma and acknowledges common issues like trauma and provides a supportive space. 

A new Verywell Mind and Parents survey has found that 75% of dads are looking for more mental health support. Here’s why protecting men’s health is so important

First, create a non-judgmental environment where your dad feels safe to express his feelings and share his experiences. Listen patiently, respond with empathy, and remind him that his feelings are valid. Let your dad know that it's not just okay but appreciated to talk about and seek help for mental health.

To have a meaningful conversation about health and mental health with your dad, approach the topic with sensitivity, understanding, and respect for cultural nuances. Here’s an expanded guide on how to navigate this important dialogue: 

Understanding cultural context

• Be mindful of cultural differences: Recognize that in many families, topics like mental health are not commonly discussed openly due to cultural stigma and misconceptions. Before initiating the conversation, consider how your dad has traditionally viewed mental health and prepare to address these views compassionately.

• Educate yourself: Equip yourself with knowledge about mental health issues, symptoms, and resources. This information will help you provide factual insights and dispel common myths, making the conversation more informative and less opinion-based. 

Initiating the conversation

• Choose an appropriate setting: Pick a moment when both of you are relaxed and have some privacy, such as after a meal or during a quiet evening at home. Avoid times when he is stressed or preoccupied with work or other responsibilities. A calm and comfortable setting can make the conversation more productive.

• Start with a neutral topic: Start with a broader discussion about physical health, which might be less sensitive. You could bring up topics like diet, exercise, or routine check-ups. 

Here’s a script: “Dad, I’ve been reading about how important regular health check-ups are as we get older. When was the last time you had a check-up?”

• Make the conversation relatable: Discuss the health or mental health story of a celebrity, public figure, someone else he might be familiar with, or something that recently appeared in the news or media. This can segue into a broader health discussion.

Deepening the discussion

• Share personal observations and experiences: Gently make conversation more personal by sharing your own experiences with health issues, be it physical or mental. This can make the topic feel more relatable and less intimidating. 

Here’s a script: “I’ve noticed I feel a lot better when I talk about my stresses. It’s not always easy to open up, but it helps me manage my stress. Have you ever felt something similar?”

• Introduce mental health gradually: Frame mental health as an integral part of overall well-being. Discuss how mental and emotional health impacts physical health and everyday life, drawing parallels to common physical health problems that are more frequently discussed and accepted. Mention stories of public figures or characters from films or TV shows that dealt with health issues, including mental health. This can make the topic more relatable, less intimidating, and also might help break the stigma around certain health conditions.

• Discuss trauma and generational patterns: Introduce the concept of trauma, including generational trauma, which may not be immediately apparent or discussed within families. Approach this topic gently and with understanding rather than assigning blame. Here’s a script: 

"I've been learning about how experiences and habits can be passed down through generations, affecting how we handle stress or conflict. It might help us understand some of the challenges we face as a family."

• Mention specific incidents or symptoms: Carefully bring up any behaviours or symptoms you've noticed that may indicate mental health struggles. Make sure to approach this part of the conversation with sensitivity and without judgement. Here’s a script: 

“I've noticed sometimes when things get overwhelming, you tend to withdraw and isolate yourself. I read that it can be a sign of anxiety. It’s something that many of us might not even realise we're doing.” 

• Draw connections between actions and emotions: Help your dad make connections between his behaviours and what they might signify about his emotional state. This can provide him with insights into his own feelings and offer him the language to express these emotions:

“When we talk about being anxious and how it leads to shutting down or isolating, it’s really about noticing how our bodies and minds react to stress. Understanding this can help us find better ways to cope.”

• Offer tools for self-reflection: Suggest simple ways in which your dad can reflect on his feelings and behaviours. This might include journaling, mindfulness practices, or even engaging in regular conversations with you or a therapist. 

Addressing stigma, misconceptions, and toxic masculinity

• Discuss cultural stigma: Address the cultural stigmas surrounding mental health openly but sensitively. Here’s a script: 

“I know it’s often not seen as okay to talk about mental health, but I think it’s really important for us to be open about it. It affects so many people and talking can really help.”

• Provide information and examples: Through examples, discuss the benefits of mental health awareness and care. Give examples of people who sought help and how their lives changed.
  

• Discuss the pressure of toxic masculinity: Talk about the societal expectations on men to appear strong and detached, and how this can be a barrier to mental health discussions. Here’s a script: 

“I’ve noticed that often, our society expects men to not express their feelings openly, considering it a weakness. But I believe being able to share what we feel is actually a sign of strength.”

Discussing action and support 

• Encourage your dad to take small, manageable steps towards improving his mental health. This could look like  consulting a professional, getting in a workout, meditation, mindfulness, therapy, or even attending a workshop or seminar on mental wellness.

• Provide information about local health professionals, credible websites that offer information, and support groups. Offer to help him reach out to these resources if he shows interest.

Maintaining an ongoing dialogue

• Reinforce your support throughout the conversation. Here’s a script:

“I really appreciate you taking the time to talk about this with me. I’m here for you, and I think it’s great for us to keep this communication open.”

• Don’t let this conversation be a one-time event. Check in regularly about what was discussed, offer additional support, and share any new information you come across. This ongoing dialogue will help normalise the discussion of health and mental health in your family.